expiration date tf2 copypasta

[he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] A dragon having sexual congress with me. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. Miss Pauling steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. [brings out a flip notebook] [The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Scout: Seven. The Medic informs them that only bread mutates, and that they will all be fine (after the Soldier mistakenly states that they will live forever), while the Pyro starts playfully chasing down the remaining small Bread Monster. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. Cut back to Scout and Miss Pauling. Wait! The Soldier wanders over, interested. 2. Everything you just said was insane and, we are out of time. ], [The Spy now walks behind the table. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. 4. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. He points both his fingers at Spy, who merely shakes his head with disgust. ], [As Miss Pauling walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. Ah [Scout walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Miss Pauling: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button andoh. Here's Everything You Need To Know About The Crowder Vs. Owens Divorce Controversy So Far. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. [The Engineer gestures with his head to the Teleporter. Spy: How long before thesetumors kill us? Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. A literal bucket list. ], [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. [He looks down at the cart. The Scout opens the door and peeks in.]. 14. dogman15 6 yr. ago. Scout: That's why the Sergal vored him. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this [In the background, the Medic hurriedly rushed forward to heal the Pyro, who has been lifted by another tentacle], Miss Pauling: GUYS! Is the Demo back with the beer yet? By entergalactic. Hey that's, that's funny. Soldier: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine! He points both his fingers at Spy, who merely shakes his head with disgust. At 2:45, when the Demoman returns from the Teleporter exit he can be seen levitating above the actual Teleporter. Spy: We have seventy hours to live. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]. Later, Medic and Engineer discover that Soldier has been teleporting bread for three days. The rear bumper falls off.] Scout: What? The fork flies out of his paw and lands on the Demoman's eyepatch, whose other eye immediately widens. You fuckin furry, you did collect everyone's dying wish? [he gestures] He's [The Spy examines the card. Spy: [Annoyed] Scout, where is this going? Miss Pauling: You're already going to be at that one. Ooh, look! We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know. ], [The Scout coughs and the Spy delicately places the second glass down. chavara matrimony usa brides Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. ], [TRAINING GYM: 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating the Scout, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. Back in the previous room, Scout can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. Miss Pauling: You're already going to be at that one. Scout: Ehhh. For more information, please see our With Nathan Vetterlein, Dennis Bateman, Ashly Burch, Robin Atkin Downes. Scout: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. Blonde fox: [shrugs] Eh, okay. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. U R DED! by The Soldier stands with his arms akimbo. About a second later, it reappears in front of the Medic, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place. The Engineer and Medic walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of bread on two carts to the lab. Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? Expiration Date: Directed by John Cook, Robin Walker. Y'all ought to take a look at this. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. Scout: Hey, hey Miss Pauling! The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Back in the previous room, Scout can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. Whoa Not exactly, Soldier. Congratulations. He adjusts his hat and headset with both paws. Realizing this is seven years old just hit me like a fucking truck, Jr. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]. We have the resources. Cut shot to the Scout who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his snout. [A security camera tracks their movements as Miss Pauling adjusts her glasses.]. Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. The Soldier then takes his bucket and picks up a loaf of bread dropped by the Medic. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. At 8:17, the Spy produces a beverage from behind his back in his left hand, even though his left hand can be seen holding nothing behind his back at 8:06. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. You can teleport bread. During the dancing scene, a recorder is visible that looks like the Red-Tape Recorder. Scout and a busty, blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. At 0:40, the sound of Miss Pauling's pistol is identical to the sound of the. After a brief delay, he raises his paw in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights. The Scout is wearing his backpack during this scene, but it's absent in all other scenes. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Tf2 Soundboard; TF2 Demoman - Kaboom. Cut shot to the Scout who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. To their horror, though, it seems that Soldier's last wish has been to do nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as Spy says something to the Scout. The furry, however, is unimpressed.]. He hits Scout in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain. He attempts to mimic the Spy's actions, but instead sends the dummy flying into the Reel-to-Reel player behind them. The kind that smell good, and can read. For most men, no time at all. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. [ All the mercenaries are expressionless except for the Heavy who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. At 10:22, just as the Engineer comes to rest his arms on the shoulder's of the Soldier and the Medic, the Engineer's right arm clips through Medic's backpack. At 1:35, the Medic's left hand clips with his backpack. Medic: Where?! [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. The Scout is near breathless with laughter.]. The quote comes from the TF2 animated short Expiration Date, released on June 17th, 2014. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen loaf. [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]. Muffled shots can be heard. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. Medic: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Tumors! Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. Some of the witness corpses that Miss Pauling gathers are that of a Spy, a Soldier, and a Medic without a jacket. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. [he lights a cigarette]. You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. Where have you been sending it?! Cut back to the Scout with a pained expression on his muzzle. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. TF2 announcer- Victory! Spy: Excellent. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. During the climax, Miss Pauling is holding a derringer that hasn't made an appearance in any other TF2 media to date. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] [She pushes past the Scout, who follows her.] The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. Ahh-, [She is dragging a body. Mcfighter2 Nov 22, 2017 @ 6:23am. At 6:08 when Spy is pouring a drink, the liquid flowing out of the bottle is black but becomes a translucent amber color as it fills the glass. ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's snout] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! I just said we're not filled with tumors! Wait! He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Meanwhile, Scout stops insulting Spy long enough to ask him an embarrassing favor; the Administrator's clerical assistant/cleaner/murder expert Miss Pauling races to bury some incriminating bodies; and Soldier makes a new metal friend. A subreddit for all your TF2 copypasta needs. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus. He looks back at the door. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. Died. For example, on June 17th, Tumblr[3] user holtarna replied "I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days" in response to a reblogged image of a loaf. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. ], [The camera cuts to a shot of Spy and Scout in a classroom setting. The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. Tell me you got the briefcase. On June 17th, 2014, Team Fortress 2 animated short "Expiration Date" premiered on YouTube,[1] gaining over 31 million views in seven years. Wait! Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. by ], Spy: I think it's going pretty well [He gives the Scout a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He places the bread on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. Lyrics, Meaning & Videos: Meet the Pyro, Expiration Date, Meet the Medic, Mann vs. Machine, Jungle Inferno, Meet your Match, Team Fortress 2 Trailer, Team Fortress 2 is Free to Play, Meet the Medic - Outtake - Kill Me, Mann vs. Machine - The Sound of Medicine, Find the lyrics and meaning of any song, and watch its music video. [He grabs the Soldier by his coat.] In subsequent shots, the Heavy's death watch seems to be missing, until 3:42. His brow wrinkles]. Now go! Cut back to the Scout with a pained expression on his face. Updated She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. She lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. [turns] Scout. ], Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! Legal Information: Know Your Meme is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy. [The flute continues to trill in the background. CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's fluffy chest, who's waiting for her there.]. ], [Cut back to Spy and Scout in the classroom, only this time DANCING is written on the chalkboard. Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. The Medic runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Scout and Miss Pauling.]. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the Spy unceremoniously drops a metal pail. Scout and Miss Pauling run at the bread monster as she lets out a yelp. Spy: [sighing] Fantastic. [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Scout: Ehhh. [He turns abruptly. ], [Engineer looks at her, then abandons his Sentry, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. and our The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. As the Medic inspects the teleporter, the Engineer calls out to him. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this Miss Pauling: GUYS! [The flute continues to trill in the background. Um. The Soldier, confused, counts off: one, two], [He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. Cut to black. Scout: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry. - What's your question, Soldier? I'm leaving the van now. The Sniper arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Scout, freeing him from its grasp. [Medic looks at the Heavy, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. The Heavy slowly folds his arms.]. [She holds her hand out expectantly]. I'm going to be dead. It's just bread that gets tumors! Scout: Oh thank God. Soldier has a grin on his face, Demo looks concerned, and Spy looks very worried. Scout: Yeah. Miss Pauling: [Briefly glancing over at Scout] Uh-huh. [A security camera tracks their movements as Miss Pauling adjusts her glasses.]. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. While trying to talk to Pauling, the Soldier, Spy and Demoman spectate from another room. In recent news, the video-game company Valve is in hot water. [A smile forms on her face]. Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. Scout: OwO Wait! We are going to live forever! Engineer: Well yeah. You too. The Scout turns back to the monitor. The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. No. It is now also available as a free-to-play ( since June 23, 2011) download on Steam for Windows, OS X, and Linux. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it vored earlier is seen sitting inside it. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. As the Heavy, Scout, and Soldier return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling video calls them to ask how the mission went. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. The Scout bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. She looks at him quizzically in silence. Okay. (Note: captions read "Mrs. Pauling"), [The Soldier disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. [He grabs the Soldier by his coat.] Shaken, the Scout jerks awake. The Sniper is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. Scout: Yeah. One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. Ve all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day [Cut to the rest of the team, Scout is still rubbing his sore neck, the Soldier stands stoically, the Heavy still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and the Engineer replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. [He uses the dummy to slap Scout across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. That isbig news. Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. 2. Scout: Miss Pauling. ], [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. All right? Scout: [Struggling] Aaahhhh Ah Miss Pauling, you all right? [He walks across the ring, awaiting Scout's answer.]. Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes.]. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busyness. The reason for all of this? [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Miss Pauling. At 9:47, Hydro's Introduction video can be seen playing on the smaller monitors. No. Members. Here you've drawn me having [The camera tastefully remains on his face.]. [She points at the hangar they just exited from.] Scout: You look You look aahhhhhh [Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Demoman, Soldier, and Spy in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. The Scout, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. Scout and Miss Pauling look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away. Fine. Upset at Scout for wasting her one day off a year, Miss Pauling begins to leave. I got a bucket of chicken Spy: [He slaps the chicken out of Scout's paws.] A loaf of the bread falls off of the pile and Soldier gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. 1, 1, 1, umm. Spy. Ominous sounding strings start up. ], Spy: See you all in hell. - What? Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Now go! Engineer: Yeah. Anyway I-, [The Spy suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Scout's body. [He salutes. Scout can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. At 6:23, a lighter is floating under the comic the Pyro is holding, presumably originally intended to be in his hand, to try and light the comic on fire with. The sergals cock is drawn in much greater detail than the Spy who is in the maw of the Sergal, becoming disemboweled with blood spurting everywhere.]. [The Heavy and Sniper are slightly amused. [sigh] Okay. As the Medic inspects the teleporter, the Engineer calls out to him. [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's chest, who's waiting for her there.]. ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. Is the Demo back with the beer yet? He's about to rush forward to attack the monster, but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon. One of the Medic's pet doves ends up eaten by the monster. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake. What have you two eggy-heads been workin' on? Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.] Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. Then they realize. He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. Scout: Yeah. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. The Heavy leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van. ], [The Scout looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]. The interior of the loaf contains pulsating green lumps and teeth. 2. The scene saw wider recognition online as a pop culture reference in the late 2010s. ], [The Scout coughs and the Spy delicately places the second glass down. The hand collapses. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's face] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! With the Demoman on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pyro, Sniper, Heavy, Scout, Soldier, and Spy on the right foreground. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. ], [All the mercenaries are expressionless except for the Heavy who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. In face of this news, Spy decides to collect a bucket list in a literal bucket. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Scout: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. He looks back at the door. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. The camera goes from the poker table with the Demoman drinking, the Heavy and Sniper dozing, and the Pyro reading a magazine; to the Medic and Engineer in a lab, with the tumorized bread; and to Soldier carrying away a giant pile of bread loaves in his arms. We can't. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, wook at all this. For example, on November 13th, 2020, iFunny[5] user Ashrom made a Now Draw Her Giving Birth meme that referenced both "Expiration Date" and Murrlogic1's Wonder Bread Commissions (shown below, left). You know? Its usually used (copy-paste) on a block of text that are either funny or 'troll' in nature to mess with another person. TF2's Expiration Date is a beloved animated short about Scout, Spy, Miss Pauline, Bread, and the rest of the team. ], Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! Spy: Our first dying wish is Scout's. [The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Medic's face. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the Spy pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette. [he places his hand on the Soldier's back and smiles] You teleport as much bread as you like. Engineer: Guys! Hey fellas, listen! Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]. She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. Ash helped write the latest TF2 short and she voices Miss Pauling. They're usually pretty accurate in my experience, at least for more distinct fonts. The Engineer walks up to Soldier and Medic and places his arms around their shoulders.]. The Heavy still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. [Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays.

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